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Rubies Diary

Rubies Diary

My Stranger

him

Luckily for me he told me earlier that we were going out. It’s the first weekend in months that I’d had anywhere to go.

I was happy not really because of the outing but because the less time I spent with him indoors, the better – I was already feeling pressured even though he repeatedly told me he had no expectations.

Here I was sitting at a bar alone waiting for him when I noticed there was a guy sitting next to me. I looked at him noticing that his lips (just the perfect size) were crooked up in a sort of one sided smile and his eyes were on me. His cologne filled the air and I felt a tensing in my belly as I inhaled the utterly delicious scent.

‘Have I seen you before?’ he asked

‘Have you?’ I reply a slight smile on my face

‘Yes, I have. You are the angel from my dreams’ he says with a rueful smile on his face

I burst into laughter while miming slow clapping ‘that line is so corny it should not work but with that self-depreciating smile on your face, somehow it does.’

Really smiling now, he turns to fully face me and instantly I know I would never have a problem trying to remember his face.

‘Who are you here with?’

‘… My boyfriend…’

But he hears he question in my voice and his eyes let me know it’s okay.

‘Who are you here with?’ I ask

‘A girl’ is his reply and I can hear all the unspoken messages he’s trying to tell me.

‘Here is my personal number’ he says tapping a number on the card ‘call me sometime, it is totally up to you’

Taking the card, I turn it over and ask for a pen. He gives me one and I write my phone number down on it. Capping the pen, I hand them both back to him.

‘I have made my choice. There is my number you call me….’ ‘But only if you want to…’ I add

I can see the tension leave his shoulders and he smiles at me as he stands up to leave. He leaves just as abruptly as he came but not before I feel the feather light touch of his fingers trail a short distance over my bare shoulders. I smile because he gets that too, that I needed touch to assure me that this is reality.

Finally, I see my boyfriend walking toward me with the food I asked for and I’m wondering how suddenly all the butterflies are gone.

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Life & Style Rubies Diary

Life Lessons I learnt From Reading My Old Diary

life lessons from old diary

A Diary is a book full of your hopes, dreams, secrets and life lessons.

life

Keeping a Diary was the second thing I was dedicated to in high school. My Diary was my bestie (You can see why I did not have a real bestie HERE) and my confidante, it held basically everything about my life and the lessons I learned in it. After I had people steal and read my first diary ever, I made sure the next diary had a lock.

For me junior school is sort of a blur, it was all about getting good grades and following the rules. By the time I got to SS2 however, I realized that I barely remembered anything about junior school. Determined to change that I made sure to change up my habits and have fun. A few weeks ago though, I came across my diaries and I sat down and went through them again. It took a while but reading the diaries really opened my eyes and put a lot of things in perspective. Here are a few life lessons I want to share with you that I learned from reading my diaries again.

  • Live Life to the fullest so you do not have regrets.

One thing I do regret about secondary school is the fact that I did not open up fast. While reading my diary I discovered that going to the hostel in Jss3 saw a particular incident that caused a change in my behavior. After deciding to actually live , I then began to see life in color, have fun, make memories – sad, happy, fun and somber. Truthfully this life lesson may seem like one that is a given. Unfortunately, you would be surprised at how many people are going through life with grey colored glasses on. From the moment I decided to actually live, I began to make memoirs. Looking back now, the memories I have are mainly of those final days in school.

A life worth living is one worth living well. Click To Tweet
  • Do not be too hasty to call it love

Limerence – Infatuated love

Throughout high school, I did not date anyone not because I did not want to but because I was convinced that I had met the love of my life. Reading this in my diary was both embarrassing, funny and sad at once. While reading I began to try to pinpoint one reason why I decided I was in love with him and I still cannot find one. I was totally infatuated with him (and the laugh lines around his eyes). I was so sure he was the one that I decided to wait around till he was ready to date me. Unfortunately for me, after wasting a lot of time I finally pulled up the courage to talk to him only to get a good dose of reality and heartbreak.

Reading through this I once again felt a sort of replica of the pain I was going through. Seeing how much I cried after dedicating so much time and my fragile emotions into him was heartbreaking and freeing at the same time. After suffering heartbreak, I turned my thoughts to revenge (how to make him pay) and even that eventually fizzled out. Now I realize that the life lesson I should have held on to from that is the fact that you cannot make anyone love you.

It was really not love, but at the time I would have bet a lot on the fact that we would end up married with kids and a great life. I had big dreams, and now I know those dreams will still be reality but this time with the right person.

‘Easy O, Jeje’ don’t be so fast to call it love. Click To Tweet
  • You have to embrace Change (that is how you grow)

Embracing change is not so easy. Going into secondary school I was a quiet, jaded girl who had been through lots of family issues and I had walls of reinforced steel around myself. Leaving high school, I had drastically changed into a more jovial, still cautious but happier girl.

The day in Jss3 when my life changed started as any other with me minding my business, keeping to myself. I had joined the hostel two weeks prior but I still kept sitting where I used to in class instead of with the ‘boarders’ (what students in the hostel were called). On this day one of my hostel mates – Nike – got angry at the fact that I refused to associate with them. She cruelly embarrassed me in front of the other boarders. She called me all sorts of names including cry baby and little girl and basically told me I was afraid of everything. Her words made me run to the top floor and hide there, crying all day.

One of my sort of friends at the time found me there and comforted me. During this I realized that even though she was cruel and mean in the way she said the words to me, she was actually right. I had been so concerned with protecting myself that I did too good a job in cutting myself off from people.

That was the turning point. From then, I began to open myself up one step at a time till it became second nature to me to be like that. No change is easy, but it almost always leads to a better version of you.

  • No matter how bad it is, it will always get better.

Even in secondary school, I went through some ups and downs that seemed almost insurmountable. After reading my diary, I said a quick thank you to God for how far I have come now. No matter how bad it gets, it can always get better is the life lesson I took away from this.

Lord I’m blinded by your grace. Click To Tweet
  • You will get finer and dress better

You definitely will #winks. I see my throwback pictures and Lord! Lord! I thank you for where I am now. That is not to say I was not cute, because I was. But then again, they are called throwback pictures for a reason.

Here is the only throwback picture I can release with peace of mind #laughs.

There are a lot more lessons I have learnt from reading my diary again and I would love to share more with you.So if you would love to read more of this comment YES down below.

Have you ever had a diary or kept a journal?

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