Definition of Nigerian tailor :
should be classified under a whole different class of people. I used to think they were all not that bad until i nearly lost my sugar daddy because of one tailor.
At the start of this year, one of my yearly goals was to attend more owambe’s, get out more and be more social. Unfortunately, I did not have any opportunity to attend an owambe. Suddenly in October my Aunt calls and tells my mum that her daughter -my cousin– is getting married December. Imagine how I was jumping up and down with joy that my ‘oyinbo’ cousin is coming to get wedded in Nigeria.
The search for a Tailor
By the first week in November, I got the aso-ebi and the color code for the wedding. Extremely excited, I started looking for styles to sew immediately, not considering the fact that mans was broke. So I found a style, and then started praying and fasting for money oo. While my fasting and prayers were making their way to Baba God, I decided to start my search for a good tailor. I got two of my friends to recommend two different tailors to me . I went to both of them to get an estimate of how much it would cost to sew lace chord. When the first tailor told me five thousand naira I carried my load and hustled my butt out of there fast fast, in my mind it’s not me that she will use to buy food for the rest of the month.
I got to the second tailor’s place and first she told me how she was going to line the material twice because it’s lace chord and that she would use taffeta and doll face and blah blah blah. Last last sha she told me the price was the same 5 thousand naira . at this point I had to hold my chest oooo…. Imagine me, that I was barely managing to eat well in school where will I get 5k to drop for sewing wedding cloth. But I must slay nah , because by fire by force this wedding is the one where I will find the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh (all those fine boys that will come must not pass me by biko).
With mild heart palpitations I went to the last tailor who has a shop near my apartment in school. As I got there she greeted me with a smile and I just relaxed. She also confirmed the two lining thing and also mentioned the beaded straps on the gown. But even after all that her own price too was 5k.
Accepting my fate, I sha left and went back to my house to think of my life since it was already two weeks to the wedding and yet the tree at my backyard that I pluck money from was doing me strong thing.
A week and a few days to the engagement and boom! My money show so all I had to do was pick a tailor. It was suprisingly hard because I really didn’t want to be a victim of the Nigerian tailor stories trend. Finally I decided on the last tailor, the nice one that mentioned the beads. I took the material to her, and paid her in full immediately to give her incentive to do a good job and do it quickly. She took all my measurements and I added a few extra touches to the style. I decided that the bottom flared part of the dress needed to be removable. I did this so when i get tired of dragging my feet I can just remove it and be just as stylish walking around in a short dress.
The lady guaranteed me that she could do it and it would come out nice. I believed her, but only after I knelt down and begged her with GOD to please not destroy my aso-ebi. Me I cannot start explaining why my aso-ebi suddenly disappeared ooo so I made sure to kneel down and beg well. The woman sha laughed at me and told me not to worry that it would be ready in time . She said I can come and check on the dress in a few days. Looking back now maybe it’s even the kneeling down that helped my dress or else ………….
Tailor wahalaBelieve what the Devil promises, at least it's better than the Tailor's - Unknown Click To Tweet
First , I suddenly noticed that her shop was never open again. I mean I saw this woman every time I was going out and coming in daily. But now, I was asking the woman in the shop beside her and she would say she is not around. Trying not to panic, I called her number for a whole day on and off . Every time the operator said “the number you have dialed is not reachable or currently switched off, please try again later” my chest will just do ‘gbagaun!’ .
I sha calmed myself down . ‘ Seyi, calm down maybe she was in her shop but she left early’. I still did not see her nor hear from her a day to my dress collection date. At this point I was already begging Baba God ,” se mi o ti se mistake bayii sha” ( translation : God, have I not made a mistake like this? ).
I was awake by four o’clock the next day after having a nightmare. In the dream the tailor gave my aso-ebi to a boy who then lost it while playing football. I kept thinking of any other alternative to wear (as per style blogger nah) but wait ooo how was I going to find my sugar daddy when im not wearing aso-ebi? By 8am sha I was ready to go to her shop and display the madness of life. Maybe then, her next door neighbours will provide her address.I got there, only to meet her opening up her shop. She told me she was sorry for not being around.The main machine she uses is apparently in her house. I accepted it all in good faith. At least ‘nigerian tailors’ have not done me bad yet or so I thought ooo.
She brought out the dress and told me to try it on. First off , one sleeve didn’t go past my elbow . ‘E ma gba mi ke ooo’ how can you get one sleeve right and the other wrong? Okay oo, I did not talk , then I saw that the dress did not have a shape. In fact I just looked like 1 “ookan” in the dress. That was when I knew that yes ooo , this tailor has scammed me. As if that was not enough for my poor heart the beaded straps that she hand sewed on was not straight and you could clearly see the black thread on the purple cloth. I honestly saw my whole sugar daddy hunt crumbling before my very eyes all because of aunty tailor.
Trying not to lose hope, I pointed out the issues to her and told her to adjust them. We then agreed on her bringing it to her shop by 10am the next day. You all can probably imagine what happened next abi ?
Nigerian tailor’s worst
By 11am on the day before the engagement, our tailor was not in shop so I just kuku accepted my fate and went out. At a few minutes to 12 oclock I suddenly got a call from her number. This was the same number that I kept calling that was always switched off. Apparently it had come back to life. I ignored that and made a few calls and got a friend to get it for me.
I got home to try the dress only to realize it did not fit. The sleeves were fine now, the removable train was partially manageable but dress no gree enter past my ‘small hips’ . I called her number again but as usual it was the operator that answered me. Last last I had to take the dress I paid 5k for (my chest is still paining me whenever I think of that money) to another tailor who had to loosen and then re- sew so that I would be able to wear it.
Later, I was just thankful that I even had something to wear to the engagement. Dear Nigerian tailors please, don’t give us heart attack. If we die who will pay you? We are still too young abeg . Sincerely, the people of Nigeria.
Because of all the tailor wahala, I had to leave Sagamu for Lagos at 6am on the day of the engagement. I was so sure that even though my dress was not so perfect by the time I add accessories and heels and make up my sugar daddy will locate me sharp sharp! Little did I know that all those ones were just in my imagination………
Want to know what happened at the engagement …. Oya click on the link .
I’m joking , part 2 of my sugar daddy search will be up on sunday 16/12/2018. xoxo