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Reality of Friendships plus OOTD

the truth about friends

Friendships and friends can be the safest part of reality for a person and yet can also be the place that brings one the most pain and heart break.

“Best friend: A person who you choose to put your heart, soul and secrets in trust with.

The one person who even though may not be blood related to you

can be your pillar when all else fails and has the power to rip your heart out easily”

Back in primary school, I had a bestie that I did everything with – eat, play, we even had the primary school crush on brothers because anything else was just unacceptable. Everything was as fine as fine can be and my little innocent heart thrived on the friendship (being an only child I was alone a lot), until one day I got to school and found that everyone in my class were avoiding me and staring a little more than usual. Luckily for me (as a fine chubby head  girl) I never pulled the ‘Queen Bee’ stunt on my mates so it was not long till someone came up to me and told me that my so-called  bestie announced to the whole class that I was a witch. Did I hear you say what?!!! Now imagine my shock.

Yhup the wonderful beastie – what I started calling her after, understood the fact that at that time even as young as we all were we knew that being a witch was a bad thing and that the rumor would isolate me from the class and probably the whole school.  That was my first taste of betrayal and I knew I would not give her the pleasure of crying in her presence, so I proceeded to go about my day as normal. But as soon as I left school I burst into tears and cried all the way home.

My mum came to school the next day and made her take back her words but it had already made an impression on my young heart, and I knew then that I really did not want to feel like that ever again. Needless to say I did have close friends but never a best friend ever again. Friendships in reality are a bed of roses but then again even roses have thorns. The good friends have your back through thick and thin, good and bad and the bad ones unfortunately leave a scar.

“Twenty friends cannot play together for twenty years” Click To Tweet

You know the kind of friends that you meet and you just click and suddenly they are the first person you think of when something happens? Yes, the friends that get you so much but then someway, somehow as fast as you clicked you begin to drift apart and no matter how much or how hard you hold on it just won’t be the same again. I have had so many friends like that and honestly I am grateful for all of them. Some friends , as perfect as they might be are just for a time .As much as it might hurt not to talk to them again the memories of how beautiful it was while we were together would always be in our hearts.

A friend that stays at your ugliest, is a friend forever. Click To Tweet

Even as there are bad friends that leave a mark, there are also the good ones. I have friends of the opposite sex and same sex who when I was having issues were my strength. There was this particular time when I misplaced my wallet. I just came back to school from home with five thousand naira after serious hustling.

Somehow I misplaced my wallet but did not notice till hours later. I was confused, frustrated, crying and angry. Out of anger, I left my hostel and just kept walking. I then picked a bike to one of my friend’s apartment (which he paid for). Seeing my face and appearance (I looked crazy) he asked what was wrong and I tearfully told him the story. I remember him hugging me and making jest of my look.He then took me to the ATM gave me five thousand naira and took me out to eat.

It might seem like nothing but instances like this are what make you know how true your friend is. Emotionally, Physically, Financially, Academically friends are supposed to lift each other up. What kind of friend are you? What kind of friend do you have?

Outfit Of The Day

the truth about friends and an ootd

 

I am wearing leggings and a crop top and my new favourite sneakers because the best way to live is to love yourself first and be your own best friend first before you can then be another person’s. Complete yourself so that anybody else will add to you just as you will add to them.

I talked about loving  yourself and your body on my new post on “My thoughts:on the Thick trend” go and check it out.

On some level I do know I am sort of scared of being labelled “the witch” again but what is life without risk? So I will complete myself and open my heart to friends who will add to me as I will add to them.

*Looks up from writing to see the lecturer still talking. Goes back to writing*

Tell me…. Who is your best friend?

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diary Lifestyle Uncategorized

New Year New Goals

It’s a few days to the new year 2018 (somebody say yeah yeah) and there are a lot of things that we all want to do better or not do at all or start doing. I personally want to attend a lot of Owambe’s (I passed through 2017 without as much as one Owambe).Every year we as people tally our wins and losses and from all the lessons we learnt throughout the year, we put up a list of what to do to make the next year better and we then tag it ‘new year resolutions’, but the thing is, we can go back to our drawing board anytime not necessarily only at the end of the year.

I came across an article about how making a New Year’s resolution was setting yourself up for failure and I thought of doing a column on New Year resolution fails but somehow I diverted. But first let’s tackle why I think New Year resolutions are bullcrap.

#THE TITLE-‘New Year Resolutions’

Honestly, 90% of the problem is the mentality of people concerning the name. New Year’s resolutions are same as everyday goals the only difference being that they are goals for the start of a new quarter. Unfortunately people start adding goals to their new year’s resolution even from June…and I’m simply left speechless. Waiting to start a goal in the new year is simply procrastination(how about starting that gym membership in November, forget January).I have set in past years new year resolutions and I have found out that most times I barely achieve 50% before the year runs out.

#UNREASONABLE GOALS

Imagine me a student with no extra source of income setting ‘get a new car this year’ as my New Year resolution. Short term goals are the most practical method of setting goals. Even if you set long term goals (a necessary evil), break them down into short term achievable actions and have the determination to see them through. Every single goal you set should reflect your self-growth. What do you want to see at the end of the year? The student who set the ‘new car’ resolution could have set ‘ get a part time vocational skill’ and ‘start saving for a car’ as his/her goals instead. Goals are meant to be practical not fantasy.

Having said all that we all need to set goals that will help guide us to  our dreams this new quarter.as Earl Nightingale said “People with goals succeed because they know where they are going” so I have highlighted a few aspects of our lives to help us set important achievable goals.

GOD

Seeing the New Year is a blessing we should never take for granted. No matter what religion we practice or beliefs we have, getting closer to GOD should definitely top the list

FAMILY

Our family is our rock .as they say blood is thicker than water we should always strive to have better relationships in our families

SCHOOL /WORK

We all have big goals and big dreams but without a concrete plan and a determination to work toward it cannot be acheived.

  • In our schools set a goal for your GP and how you plan to achieve it.Barely passing is definitely not the best way to pass
  • In this day and age every student should be an entrepreneur. The rich are the ones with the ideas outside the box, nobody depends on their certificate alone now. Start doing something.
  • The best way to work is to work hard and be promoted. Set goals for how you want to improve your work ethics.

Dream big, work hard.no matter what your dreams are you need to know that without hard work that is all they would remain ‘DREAMS’.

PERSONAL LIFE

  • First I think should definitely be self-love. Self-love can never be over emphasized, no matter how secure you are in yourself you need to always have time to remind yourself of who you are, lift your self-esteem even higher and simply be proud to be who you are ignoring whatever society says.
  • We should also set goals that help us take responsibility of the things that happen in our lives.be in charge of your life, steer it where you want it to go.
  • Set goals to make you better. For example i will be exercising daily, or i will eat more fruits.

LOVE LIFE

The significant other in your life also deserves a new improved you. Look at your relationships how far you have gone, how far you want to go. Are there changes you need to make to make for a smoother relationship? This is what makes you a good partner.

If you pick all this and make a New Year resolution list, I definitely trust that with consistency and determination at the end of the New Year you would have checked off at least 80% of your goals.

I hope this post helped you out, if you have any questions or contribution just leave a comment and if you need any help you can also email me and I’ll be sure to get back to you.Dont forget to like this post and also follow us on all our social media handles.

Happy New Year In A Few Hours!!!!!!!

Lots of love from this side,

RUBIES.


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adventures in lagos diary Life & Style

Boxing Day At The Beach

Ho Ho Ho! Season’s Greetings My People. Even with the fuel scarcity plus the horrible traffic on the roads I hope we all had a little fun for Christmas even if you were like me and stayed home.

So if you know me you know I had zero plans for the holidays but somehow my friends organized a sort of beach hangout on Boxing Day at Elegushi beach and I braved the roads against all odds of traffic and fuel scarcity to be there {even if I got there late}.

I headed out from Ikorodu around 1 pm and got to Elegushi beach at around 3 pm where I paid a gate fee of 1000 Naira that I grudgingly handed over (imagine that big money). The bike then took me further in, weaving between different vehicles (I even saw a G-wagon with two escort cars) and trust me when i say “if you no get money, hide your face”.After getting off the bike, I walked into the beach where I then proceeded to get lost while searching for Gate 2, apparently there are three gates at the beach and so I spent a good 30 minutes calling and walking around till I got the gate where my friends were at (if you go to this beach please just tell whoever you are meeting to meet you at the gate to avoid all this).

Luckily once I got to my friends it became fun and all the stress was forgotten, and since they all know how much of a foodie i am imagine my happiness when i discovered there was food, drinks, and dessert (doing the shaku shaku dance).There were a lot of people (to watch)  and music and lots of fun to be had. You best believe I ate a lot then proceeded to go into the water and then when we all got tired, we sat down for dessert and games. I know you all want to see pictures so I won’t talk too much I’ll let the pictures show how much fun we had.

Outfit Details- Knit Crop top : made by my cousin  @ms_thonia

Floral Patterned Shirt Dress (adapted as a jacket) : thrifted

Black leggings

 

Photo credit: @diva_bumex

Did you all go out with friends or family? What did you wear? And how much fun did you have?

In case you are planning to go to the beach, it is definitely a good idea just make sure to get there early so you can have a lot of fun and BRING A CHANGE OF CLOTHES.

Thank you for reading, please leave a comment and don’t forget to like this post.Also follow us on all our Social media handles.

HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE DARLINGS.

XoXo

RUBIES.

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diary Fashion Lifestyle

My Christmas Wish-list

Heyo guys, Issa few days to Christmas and for all of you who have done all your Christmas shopping and are ready to slay, I hail you. Those of us who are on tight budgets and cannot buy what we want, let us keep hoping for miracles.💁

If we were a little younger we would have at least made a promise card and given it to all the people we know, but since we are now older here is my wish list (a more mature type of promise card).

Feel free to let compassion fall on you and volunteer to buy one for me  🙇

First of all I will start with the Holy Grail of all wishes. If you have not wished for this watchu doing?

Let me just drop this here and hope for the best.One love. But for real, here are the things I would like to add to my wardrobe this Christmas/new year.

#1. Camo Boots

i saw this boots on @_thisisamina from @prettylittlething and instantly fell in love 😍

#2. Taos Inc. Lip gloss

I want this simply because lip glosses are life and @taos_inc has the best lippies.

#3. Tee from @urban_nativity_official

There is just something about the design that gets me.Do you like them too?

#4. Sneakers

This sneakers from @soma_consult is calling out to me…can’t you hear it?

#5. Oversize Shirt from @thenalegirl

Let us just accept that this shirts will make a statement that people will not forget in a hurry.

#6. Custom made Ankara bag and Shoes from @heseydesigns

This pair will definitely turn a basic outfit to a ‘who is that chick?’ outfit.

#7. Flat Shoes from @dkhay_empire

A must have if you wear corporate attires in school all the time….

#8. Backpack from @shopel0

If i had my way, i would buy this backpack in all the colors and it is so affordable too. Backpack with swagg.

#9. Hair

Honestly, hair is really important.Once you are rocking great hair ,you have no more worries.

#10. Accessories

Lately the shades and jewelry trend has had everybody rocking one pair of really nice shades or another so i will let you in on a secret.You can get your accessories for a whooping discount @allthingschic now.Better hurry they stop taking orders tomorrow for the holidays and even if you cannot get them now save up they still give really low prices without the discount.

#11. Jumpsuit

Let me hear you say yeah yeah! A jumpsuit in Army Green ,give me now!!!!!!

Get the look from @miskayboutique 

Also Camo Track pants from them just because

 

What do you want for Christmas? Put it out here as a comment and share the post, maybe, just maybe, Santa Claus will see it and decide you will get it. I will let you know if Santa  🤶  came through for me on the wishes after Christmas.

Also don’t forget to like if you enjoyed this post and follow us on all our social media accounts.

Here is to hoping Santa hears us,

RUBIES.

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