To you I can’t sing ‘odoo’
In your presence I will zanku
And add to it a little shaku-shaku
Without hesitation I will gbese
Most of those who have the time to troll other people and appoint themselves judge and jury over another are usually jobless. Doesn’t that say something more about the person that calls you a slut than you, who is being called a slut ? I have noticed that most times when people see someone who is completely confident in her sexuality , the response of weak people is to fall back to slut- shaming.
King James Version (KJV)
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Now that that has been established, why dont we all just simply stop hiding behind things like religion, culture, morals and simply just mind our buisness.
In case you don’t know , tagging a female a slut does not just stop there. It has a rebound effect. If that lady gets raped it is 90% your fault. Sure there is no excuse for rape. But I have heard situations where a lady has been tagged a slut and one guy decides to taste too . He probably approaches her and she turns him down. He is furious because well she has “loose morals “ how can she say no. So he rationalizes that she wants him to force her. He then goes on to rape her.
Can you see how keeping your mouth shut and minding your business would have helped? That aside slut or not, how can a person justify rape? I mean there is simply no excuse. Whatever she wears or says or does does not make it okay to force her. I mean you can always just look away. Rape is NOT and will NEVER be the “victims” fault.
Anybody that blames a female for being raped and tags her a slut or hoe after is sick and I just hope that person never experiences rape.
If you can’t tell this is an issue that really gets to me. I mean if a lady chooses to use her body to help her make ends meet I’m sure it wasn’t her 1st choice. You who decided to judge her , how much have you contributed to her life? The truth is most times people that judge others are guilty of worse. If you cannot help her , and you cannot ask her to help you then sit your ass down and face your life. How does bringing another down help you is a question I continue to ask myself.
Imagine a world where the female code was not only for rep sake on social media but was actually a code that we lived our lives by. Just think, a world filled with Queens that lifted each other up. A world where Kings let go of the irrelevant things and focused on building an empire. That’s the world i want to be in, that’s the world that would be worth living in. I refuse to believe that me talking about this would not make a difference. I have joined the band wagon for change, no matter how little an impact this makes it will still somehow help us get the change we want.
A friend told me to not bother myself about it, it’s just the way society is and it will not change in this generation, he said. No matter, i still add my little drop to the puddle of water, someday it will become an ocean.
Ladies, be confident, know yourselves, help each other, take a stand for change. Let the revolution start with you !!!!!!
The styling of oversize shirts is a trend I have totally wanted to try over time. From blogs like apairandaspare I gathered lots of styles to try and overtime I tried them out one by one. So this is a blog post on how to style oversize or even just long sleeved shirts. The fact that I can pick an oversize shirt and wear it in a different way for every day of the week if I want is definitely something to ease the mind.
Here are the styles:
I tried this shirt style out for a full day. It totally made me feel a lot less hot on that sunny day with my shoulders bare and it also definitely added some sexy to my basic outfit.
That aside there are a few cons you should most probably put into consideration, if you want to rock this style.
Apart from these few cons, it’s a perfectly casual and stylish way to rock your oversize shirt .make sure to tuck it in well though and experiment with different ways of wearing it.
This way of styling an over-sized shirt is sort of my favorite. I wore this out for a late evening/night outing and let me tell you it was extremely comfortable to wear and gave a really nice sort of dressy vibe to my plain jeans and sandals.
It held up pretty well all through the evening but I had to go with a sort of camisole underneath since I did not want to be showing off my bra straps.
Casual, comfy, really easy to wear and a little strip of back on show never hurt anybody. If I were to judge I would say so far this is my best style, with the off shoulder coming a close second (even with all its wahala).
I wore this around the house and out to see a friend and I really did not have any issues with it.
Because I could not go out with a strip of back showing I wore a plain black camisole underneath. Viola I was ready to go!
This is probably everyone’s favorite way of wearing an over-sized shirt. It simply shouts style, swag and a lazy kind of sauce.
Honestly wearing an oversize shirt just the way it is, with skinny jeans or shorts is so easy, slouchy and a really easy style hack. Just throw it on and you are good to go.
How would you style your oversize shirts? The traditional way or maybe something extra? Leave your thoughts as comments below, you know I love to hear from you. Xoxo loves.
Dress up to feed your ego darlings. Do it for you!
“Shenk the Sheges”
If you are like me, you do a lot of binge reading (from fashion posts to lifestyle, to food)…. Most times I just go on a reading spree and catch up on all the posts from my favorite bloggers. These seven blog posts from early this year are those that I found so so relatable and ones that I know you would enjoy (or else why am I doing this #wink). So without further Ado, let us get right into it
Let’s take a minute to appreciate how intrigued the title made me, I mean if @mindofamaka was not one of my favorite bloggers I would still have clicked on that link. @mindofamaka did not disappoint once I clicked on the link I was hooked till the end of the post and even then I just had to leave a comment.
This post was basically a sort of peek into her feelings and thoughts at a particularly rough time (sure we all have that once in a while). She highlighted the fact that ultimately we are all alone because honestly at the end of the day no one is going to have your back as much as you will. You and only you can fully grasp the magnitude of how down or depressed or frustrated you feel at any particular moment. What I loved most about this post is that she shared her story in the most relatable way possible and yet it still spoke to me, I mean I was crying towards the end of the post.
The truth is Life can be really rough at times but having posts like this can remind you that you are not alone and that all this will pass soon. I definitely highly recommend you read this blog post.
Click here to read.
Lately with the heat wave I know I am not the only one that has considered just smuggling myself on a plane and leaving Nigeria for those who want to roast us with heat #lol. This style post comes in handy and is totally a lifesaver because as for me I look for clothes that will not cause me to be sweating buckets of water. The Camisole is a vital fashion item that you should know how to style especially now, so that you can get away with wearing just a camisole and yet be looking all shades of stylish. I definitely loved the way she compiled the post and how the picture inspiration she gave is “bangdandandang”. This is surely one for the ladies.
Hollup Guys!! Let’s keep all our civility for a minute and be ratchet… ‘Like Watagwan bruh if ya aint got ya finger on tha pulse of this series?!!!!’ (Pardon my Jamaican). This is my favorite of the favorite of the favorite blogs to follow. Let me just say #TeamTeni. Okay okay I’m sure you might be wondering what is she on about. So the side chick wars is a totally relatable, riveting, hilarious, down to earth tale about … yes ,you guessed right …… Wars between side chicks. I mean this is really juicy gist served on a platter. If it were a movie mehn, I would be glued to my TV set. Unfortunately the series just ended BUT she is alreadyhas another epic and so interesting story for us. I simply am addicted. Enough of my hyping, just click here to start reading and I promise you will be hooked.
Okay , so it’s no more February , I know, but this post is one you should read even next year. Every one wants to have a productive month but most times we do nothing to actually achieve that goal. Here @dearsalamah highlights a few key points on how to have a productive month. These key points are basically the holy grail of being on top of every month or year. From tips like start saving to hang out with like-minded people this post is filled with lots of knowledge we can use. After all no knowledge is wasted.
Click here to learn.
Absolutely self-explanatory blog post title. I mean what kind of fashionista does not want to read a blog post on an outfit that combines three latest trends. Everyone definitely needs to read this, better late than never.
Justification for my obsession that is so not a secret? Hook me up ASAP!
I really could not have expressed why you should join me in obsessing over slogan tees any better than @thesvnflwr did. She simply killed it, made me a lot more in love and is waiting to convert souls to the movement.
Read this blog post here
Friendships and friends are a touchy subject for me. Sometimes your so called friends are the ones that stab you through the heart. So many times, we make the mistake of trusting the wrong friend and *boom* we end up hurt. @gyifted shares a few stories on friends turned monsters and betrayal and gives a few words of encouragement also. This post really spoke to me considering I just put up a post on this a few days ago. Check out the post from her here. You can also read my post on friendships plus an OOTD here.
I hope you enjoy these posts. Are there any posts you love? Why don’t you share in the comment section?
I have soooo sooo many more posts i would love to share with you. Drop a YES below if you want me to make another list of posts like this one.
It’s a brand new day and I just want exams to be over and the summer holidays be here already. Do like this🙋 #hands up if you need a long vacation – to Cuba or the islands (if you have big dreams like me). Honestly, I need a camera, overnight summer body and lots of money to spend. Lol, what a dream.
During the Easter holidays, I stayed with my aunt and her kids (my cousins) for a few days. I tend to be a little reserved when meeting new people ( especially family) so I went there with the mindset that I might not totally vibe with them. Luckily for me, I was wrong and not only did I vibe with them, we also became so close in a short while. Even with all my cousins’ wahala, we still had a blast. When I was packing for the visit, I packed really casually thinking that there would be no outing, so that left me having to wear home clothes out with my cousins (oops!). P.S You never want to have to go out with home clothes.
Fortunately, my cousins love me for me and not my fashion sense #laugh .That is why, with great consultations with the ‘cousins’ I decided to make a post on how to be the trendiest Cousin ever. *works like a charm every time*
Well, you definitely cannot be the trendiest cousin if you are not trendy. Your fashion sense has to be topnotch in person and on Instagram.The cousins will judge you based on how you look and your instagram feed. To totally crush this part, you have to have your finger on the pulse of all things fashion, from latest trends, to styling clothes, to lots trending clothes plus the awesome instagram feed. Simply put, be FASHION but don’t overdo it. You can check out my post on dressing up in 5 minutes and yet come out looking stylish HERE.
Your cousins have to be able to relate with you or else all your dressing up will be in vain. Without you having a very easy, laidback and friendly relationship with your cousins, you will never be tagged the favorite. Your cousins have to be comfortable with you, chill with you, discuss latest trends, gossip, and their other interests and even gist you about their lives. This is the part that guarantees you the tag “favorite cousin”. This plus good fashion choices and you’re good to go.
Singing *money makes the world go round, money makes the world go round*
To quote my darling cousin (note that he is just 15, like whaaaattttt?!), ‘if you don’t buy us stuff then what exactly are you our favorite for?’ .My friends also fully support the motion by saying ‘an uncle/aunt that does not give you things, is that one and aunt/uncle?’. The bottom line is get them things, you do not need to go above board but the occasional top or jeans or shades or even money and credit will firmly secure your place in their minds.
I personally have a favorite uncle and while He is not my favorite because of money it doesn’t hurt either that he cares to send me things once in a while. I definitely did not even touch this part with my cousins though, I remember them telling me to get a ‘rich boyfriend’ so I would be able to take them out. Needless to say , I chased them round the house once they said that but we ended up laughing about it anyway.
Moral of the story: If you no get money hide your face.
This part is easily the most important, because it really doesn’t matter if you are loaded to the heavens, dress hotter than the Kardashians and are as relatable as SpongeBob to kids, if you are not yourself it will show. Your personality is why people or cousins in this instance should like you. If you act fake, your cousins will fake an attitude to you too and there is no way you would be their favorite that way.
You really should not keep up an act (I’m sure that would be exhausting anyway). Make sure you are real and everything else will fall into place.
With all these tips, you’ll soon have the title of “favorite most fashionable cousin/sibling/family member”. I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it for you.
Till next time,
Luckily for me he told me earlier that we were going out. It’s the first weekend in months that I’d had anywhere to go.
I was happy not really because of the outing but because the less time I spent with him indoors, the better – I was already feeling pressured even though he repeatedly told me he had no expectations.
Here I was sitting at a bar alone waiting for him when I noticed there was a guy sitting next to me. I looked at him noticing that his lips (just the perfect size) were crooked up in a sort of one sided smile and his eyes were on me. His cologne filled the air and I felt a tensing in my belly as I inhaled the utterly delicious scent.
‘Have I seen you before?’ he asked
‘Have you?’ I reply a slight smile on my face
‘Yes, I have. You are the angel from my dreams’ he says with a rueful smile on his face
I burst into laughter while miming slow clapping ‘that line is so corny it should not work but with that self-depreciating smile on your face, somehow it does.’
Really smiling now, he turns to fully face me and instantly I know I would never have a problem trying to remember his face.
‘Who are you here with?’
‘… My boyfriend…’
But he hears he question in my voice and his eyes let me know it’s okay.
‘Who are you here with?’ I ask
‘A girl’ is his reply and I can hear all the unspoken messages he’s trying to tell me.
‘Here is my personal number’ he says tapping a number on the card ‘call me sometime, it is totally up to you’
Taking the card, I turn it over and ask for a pen. He gives me one and I write my phone number down on it. Capping the pen, I hand them both back to him.
‘I have made my choice. There is my number you call me….’ ‘But only if you want to…’ I add
I can see the tension leave his shoulders and he smiles at me as he stands up to leave. He leaves just as abruptly as he came but not before I feel the feather light touch of his fingers trail a short distance over my bare shoulders. I smile because he gets that too, that I needed touch to assure me that this is reality.
Finally, I see my boyfriend walking toward me with the food I asked for and I’m wondering how suddenly all the butterflies are gone.
Keeping a Diary was the second thing I was dedicated to in high school. My Diary was my bestie (You can see why I did not have a real bestie HERE) and my confidante, it held basically everything about my life and the lessons I learned in it. After I had people steal and read my first diary ever, I made sure the next diary had a lock.
For me junior school is sort of a blur, it was all about getting good grades and following the rules. By the time I got to SS2 however, I realized that I barely remembered anything about junior school. Determined to change that I made sure to change up my habits and have fun. A few weeks ago though, I came across my diaries and I sat down and went through them again. It took a while but reading the diaries really opened my eyes and put a lot of things in perspective. Here are a few life lessons I want to share with you that I learned from reading my diaries again.
One thing I do regret about secondary school is the fact that I did not open up fast. While reading my diary I discovered that going to the hostel in Jss3 saw a particular incident that caused a change in my behavior. After deciding to actually live , I then began to see life in color, have fun, make memories – sad, happy, fun and somber. Truthfully this life lesson may seem like one that is a given. Unfortunately, you would be surprised at how many people are going through life with grey colored glasses on. From the moment I decided to actually live, I began to make memoirs. Looking back now, the memories I have are mainly of those final days in school.
Throughout high school, I did not date anyone not because I did not want to but because I was convinced that I had met the love of my life. Reading this in my diary was both embarrassing, funny and sad at once. While reading I began to try to pinpoint one reason why I decided I was in love with him and I still cannot find one. I was totally infatuated with him (and the laugh lines around his eyes). I was so sure he was the one that I decided to wait around till he was ready to date me. Unfortunately for me, after wasting a lot of time I finally pulled up the courage to talk to him only to get a good dose of reality and heartbreak.
Reading through this I once again felt a sort of replica of the pain I was going through. Seeing how much I cried after dedicating so much time and my fragile emotions into him was heartbreaking and freeing at the same time. After suffering heartbreak, I turned my thoughts to revenge (how to make him pay) and even that eventually fizzled out. Now I realize that the life lesson I should have held on to from that is the fact that you cannot make anyone love you.
It was really not love, but at the time I would have bet a lot on the fact that we would end up married with kids and a great life. I had big dreams, and now I know those dreams will still be reality but this time with the right person.
Embracing change is not so easy. Going into secondary school I was a quiet, jaded girl who had been through lots of family issues and I had walls of reinforced steel around myself. Leaving high school, I had drastically changed into a more jovial, still cautious but happier girl.
The day in Jss3 when my life changed started as any other with me minding my business, keeping to myself. I had joined the hostel two weeks prior but I still kept sitting where I used to in class instead of with the ‘boarders’ (what students in the hostel were called). On this day one of my hostel mates – Nike – got angry at the fact that I refused to associate with them. She cruelly embarrassed me in front of the other boarders. She called me all sorts of names including cry baby and little girl and basically told me I was afraid of everything. Her words made me run to the top floor and hide there, crying all day.
One of my sort of friends at the time found me there and comforted me. During this I realized that even though she was cruel and mean in the way she said the words to me, she was actually right. I had been so concerned with protecting myself that I did too good a job in cutting myself off from people.
That was the turning point. From then, I began to open myself up one step at a time till it became second nature to me to be like that. No change is easy, but it almost always leads to a better version of you.
Even in secondary school, I went through some ups and downs that seemed almost insurmountable. After reading my diary, I said a quick thank you to God for how far I have come now. No matter how bad it gets, it can always get better is the life lesson I took away from this.
You definitely will #winks. I see my throwback pictures and Lord! Lord! I thank you for where I am now. That is not to say I was not cute, because I was. But then again, they are called throwback pictures for a reason.
Here is the only throwback picture I can release with peace of mind #laughs.
There are a lot more lessons I have learnt from reading my diary again and I would love to share more with you.So if you would love to read more of this comment YES down below.
Have you ever had a diary or kept a journal?
‘I say I’m badder than, all of you, all of you…. Actually I gym more than some of you, some of you’
Wearing my favorite pair of black stretchy legging (from @dkhay_empire) and my neon green sports bra under a black tank top with sneakers on and ear buds in and jamming to Davido’s all of you. I was feeling all fly and shii because I was on my way to the gym.
I was all up in my baby girl for life mood the first day I hit the gym and started my journey into the world of fitness. Two weeks in and I’m no longer walking to the gym like I’m going for a fashion show, now I am either tired to my bones or I’m psyched and ready to feel the pain and own it.You are wondering how I got to that stage abi? Let me tell you the story.
For the first three days, I would hit the gym with my ‘lazier than I am’ friend and my ‘gym addicted’ housemate. I and my ‘Lazier friend ‘would be trained by the instructor and he would give us basic exercises to do that to me were not unreasonable. My lazier friend though would complain and I would join her because ‘why I go wan look like oversabi?’
After all the gyming oo, I would then go home and be lamenting in my mind because I did not feel sore or a lot different. Okurr. Then things changed.
The week after I had crazy class schedules that would see me walking home exhausted about 4pm and I would still have to hit the gym that evening. My wonderful friend did not even just bother to show her face (aunty haff tire) and Uncle Gym addicted house mate found a new hobby (biko why now? Better reset your brain to default settings ooo). So imagine me, baby girl for life mood don ‘run away’, contemplating the wahala I put myself into ooo just because I want to wear crop top. In fact was I blind when I was eating all the food and it was storing in my stomach? #crying emoji. That’s when my gym instructor now decided to switch up his game on me, like ‘did I offend you before sir?’
This fateful day sha, I went to the gym jejely and I was stressed ehn.Luckily for me, after about two minutes I saw my gym crush coming, Thank you Jesus ooo see motivation. Mr. Crush came in greeted the few of us in the gym and proceeded to take off his shirt ‘Can I get a hallelujah somebody?!!!!!’ If you see me drooling that day ehn, I produced the rivers of water from my mouth.
That was when the gym instructor interrupted the fantasy of my hands and those chiseled abs to tell me to join some other ladies being trained by one guy. I was about to vex, I mean he just interrupted my fantasy until I saw that the guy that was training too was a fine boy.
The heavens are smiling upon me today. So I moved over and joined them in the stretches as they were just starting. We started with touching out toes while sitting with your head touching your knee and the other leg folded (please when I am not a gymnast, my head dinnur touch my knee oo).
Next we moved on to other stretches including the child pose and then he gave us the last one that caused gobe.in my mind I was nau wondering is this one stretching too???
That’s when my crush decided to speak up ‘Ahan, no wonder you will go from 8 to 8 on top of somebody’s child. Brother take it easy na.’ In my mind I kuku agreed, it’s their type that will kill somebody’s child , but what is my own let me stretch my stretch in peace.
The trainer then replied my crush “it is good now, but I met you in the business oo, my own 8 to 8 is your foreplay”
All this one o we were still holding the stretch position. Finally we finished stretching and moved on to real abdominal exercises. Remember I said I used to lament because I was not doing enough? Omo by the second exercise I knew that Na to just die here remain ooo.
Me that I was forming BOSS before, I began to confess to myself oo ‘I shall not die but live to see another gym day’ can I get an AMEN!!!!
From leg raise, to flutter kicks, to crunches, to inverse crunches to Russian twist it was a serious matter. After 74years we finally finished. I just collapsed on my mat like no, I just got back from a 100year trek in the desert without water (Sense wee not kill me abeg).
Can you now imagine that as me I lay on the workout mat panting, our superwoman now stood up rejuvenated and went on to do squats with 30kg weights #it is well.
I just jejely packed up my load ooo and hobbled to my house. I was sure that I would barely be able to get out of bed the next morning.
As long as we live to see anther gym day sha.
Here are a few tips to help you get through week one of the gym:
Don’t forget to like, comment, share and keep up with me on social media. Till next week loves
What can be better than stepping out in style with your whole squad? I know I cannot be the only one that gets serious vibes when I see a squad serving fashion in extreme doses and that is why I compiled this cheat sheet on how to cause jaws to drop and heads to turn 360 degrees when you and your squad step out. Because if you cannot go out as a squad and turn heads with your fashion sense what is the point? You know y’all know what I am talking about.
So without any extra sass or sauce here is your cheat sheet to you and your girls stepping out in style.
One of the best things about a squad is the fact that it is a group of people who are different in appearance and exhibit different behaviors’. The key to making people go “woooooooooooooooow” is embracing your different quirks and styles. Nobody wants to see clones of each other, even twins slay in different ways. Let your personalities shine through your outfits even if you have a dress code. In every squad we have:
The ‘cool one’ who would probably wear the dress code with no extras but looks cute and chic,
The ratchet one who turns the dress codes jeans into ripped jeans and pairs it to stand out
The classy but crazy one pearl mom jeans statement tee and sneakers.
I’m sure you are in love yeah? Yes that is how it should be. Each one of you must dress up,critic each other’s outfit plus end up looking hot asf while stepping out to create the “jaw drop” effect.
You know how you see those group of girls looking like they stepped outta the pages of a magazine and you look at the last person with high hopes but Naaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!! You end up with a face like “what is happening here???!!!”
Yes and we all agree that those are bad friends, like why couldn’t they tell her? Do not be that friend. As much as we do not want to hurt our friends better it be us than someone outside. Especially when you are all going out, be able to tell your friend nicely that her outfit is not working and suggest changes that could help. In this case, for the question ‘how do I look?’ honesty is the best policy.
It might come off as too tacky (for some) if you all wear the same thing. But as you are going out together, it would be nice to pay attention to color schemes so that you all complement each other and do not go out looking like neon lights or clashing colors.
There is something about ladies that exude confidence and charisma. They tend to have all doors thrown open for them. One surefire way to being confident is your support system. As a squad of stylish ladies, you all are responsible for how your sister feels. Each person should compliment the others outfit. Remind yourselves that you are Queens and you have the world at the tip of your fingers.
I’m sure from now on it is slay hard time for you and your squad. Make sure to use our hashtag in your squad pictures #LazyTrendyChic. You should also check out my new post on Body Goals;My thoughts on the thick trend
Photo credit shout out to: ‘Nonye and her squad. Because your pictures are simply awesome.
Till next time loves,