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Love: From the Archives of this 21year Old

love from the archives

When I was a kid, love was my mum bringing me a humongous strawberry ice cream cone, daddy carrying me on his shoulders, kisses from aunts and tickling from uncles. As soon as I could read a little love became fairytales, Cinderella and Rapunzel. When I became old enough to read novels, which I confess is lots earlier than you would think, it was the hero that professed his undying loyalty. The hero that fought for he lady, pampered her, lived for her and sometimes died for her.

Love was basically the perfect man. Then teenage hormones set in and my views changed again. Now the cutetest loner boy in class, the ripped bad boys and the cocky arrogant guys basically all the boys that are wrong became the yardstick to measure this emotion. Sometimes I could even be that older guy who you know is totally unattainable. The older guy syndrome faded fast though, starry eyed I may be but stupid I am not.

Heroes and their ladies..

And so the hero complex definition of love stuck. I gorged on movies, novel and everything that reinforced that belief. In movies love is a spark, love is when eyes meet across the table, love is magical, and it is a trouble free ride to paradise, love is a fairytale…. Love is cliché.

 You know that when we build up a pre conceived notion of how something is supposed to be in our heads it is pretty hard to let go of it. Let’s say, like sex. Now in every novel, movie, or fictional work, sex is like finding the treasure at the end of a rainbow. It is built up to make every girl want the whole she-bang. But in reality, sometimes sex sucks. Your fist time, sex is usually painful, that doesn’t make it less important it just helps us appreciate it more.

What do girls want?

love from the archives

We want Mr. charming to come in and sweep us off our feet. It’s in our nature to want all the good and none of the bad just like hot make up sex with no breakup. We want hero’s, gentlemen, bad boys that will be good for us. Every girl who has ever read a novel or seen a movie wants what was promised her, a forever kind of love. We want the spark, and moonlight walks and it’s not bad to want it, all that’s bad is forgetting that the bad makes us appreciate the good more.

But my fall from cloud 9 to reality took a really long time. I had thought that love was simple, easy, and straightforward. I once fell head over heels for a guy because of his smile. Unfortunately for me, he didn’t see me he same way but I had my movies and they gave me hope that one day he would come groveling. I mean how could he do any different, he was supposed to be my first and last love. Love was everything to me, at least it was.

The truth

Doubt began to creep in when Mr. Soul mate refused to show up. But I put my heart out there again and again. But something began to happen every time I opened my heart and I got disappointed – again and again I might add – I began to believe less.  Giving words to my feelings is a form of therapy for me and most times I end up discussing them in abstract with someone. This is how I came to the conclusion that here is no such thing as a perfect love. Old fashioned love – YES but perfect love – No. I have been told a million and one times that I am too focused on looking for the fairytale that I miss the real thing. That may be true, but I’m not going to stop looking for my magic.

There are no real fairytales, no love without mistakes, forgiveness and all the major life lessons. In the midst of all that though, you will find the magic, the happiness, the sense of safety. Fairytales feed our need to lie on a bed of roses, unfortunately, in real life roses have thorns. I know I am never happier than when the hero gets together with the lady and they live ‘happily ever after’.

 Love in the 90’s

I lived the most of my life with my grandpa and grand ma till my grandpa passed away. Although an extremely brilliant and smart man, an easy man he was not. A few years after his death, I and my grandma were discussing friendships built in her time vs. how we build them now. Somehow we ended up talking about love and I told her I always wondered why grandpa didn’t love her again. She laughed and told me that her husband loved her totally and completely. She aid although he had his faults (the cheating, shouting, even accusations money issues all of which I remembered) but in his own way he really loved her. Then she reminded me about the time he would hug her and play music and they would dance and he would draw me to them and we would all have a blast.

Imagine a woman I thought would resent her husband for all the pain he caused her, explaining gently to me – an onlooker- that all is not as it seemed.

My realization

Here is what I realized, the minute I was reminded of one good time, all the other little things I had forgotten started to come back. I’m not accepting though that love should have that much pain in it but I see now that love encompasses even the faults. And even with his faults, my grandfather respected my grandma, in every area.

I am not a girl who is #single life. I like the idea of a special person to share your life with. Someone who is just as whole as you are, and together makes you a better whole just as you make him better too.

My Stand, My Love

love from the archives

 People may say I have watched too many movies or read too many novels to be practical but here is my conclusion. I want to fall in love, the love that comes with fights and hurdles to pass through. The love that will give me peace and the happiest days I might have yet. I am not going to settle for less or just anybody. I want the fireworks, the magic, the sweet smelling rose petals and I will deal with the thorns as they come. If that is cliché, then yes world! I am cliché. It’s all in the way you see it.

I want crazy stupid love and by God I will get it, even if I have to fight for it.

Love and Light from this birthday girl .

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My Special Formula for Getting Dressed In 5 Minutes

get dressed in five minutes

 

How much time do you spend while dressing up? Luckily for me I concocted a special formula for getting dressed that takes five minutes so I can get some extra snooze time. Most of my friends spend so much time on dressing up while I catch some extra shut eye. Don’t get me wrong I can fall into this category too, sometimes I try on every outfit before deciding on the one I wore first. But because being short on time is a staple in my life (I like sleep too much) I had to become the fastest dresser. Without make up (I cannot do makeup) it takes me a maximum of 5 minutes to get dressed, and considering this is nothing short of a miracle for some I decided to share the deets.

the truth about friends and an ootd

CHOOSE YOUR OUTFIT

The first step is to decide what outfit you are in the mood for. This step would ideally be done the day before, but because I know myself and I know my people this should be done as soon as you are up. If you are like me and you like to stretch, while stretching pull up a visual of your wardrobe and mentally assemble your outfit. If you are not the stretching type, you can mentally prepare while in the shower. This will drastically eliminate the time you waste by standing in front of your closet and staring (Yes I know you do it).

Be sure to consider where you are going to pick comfortable and suitable clothes.

  • Make sure to stick to the basics. Remember you do not have enough time to pull off a complicated outfit. Basic color schemes and clothing items are best.
  • Having a WELL ORDERED WARDROBE does wonders for you throughout your “dressing like flash” process.

 

PICK OUT AND WEAR YOUR CLOTHES

After deciding what to wear, go to your wardrobe and see what you have to work with. If you have decided on what to wear- skirt and shirt/jeans and top/denim- pick out one of each and wear. Remember to stick to basic colors as it would help reduce the time spent on looking for matching bag, shoes and accessories.

NOTE: DO NOT STRAY FROM WHAT YOU HAVE DECIDED ON.

I know you could look into your wardrobe and a lovely dress would catch your eye after deciding on Denim. If you decide to switch, you would end up trying it on and then ditching it when you remember why you picked denim. OOPS!!! Suddenly you’ve spent 3 minutes trying and discarding a dress. Stick to the goal of getting dressed in 5 minutes.

At this point you probably have only about 2-3 minutes left and it’s time to turn a basic outfit into something stylish.

Just Like in food; Clothes are the basic Ingredients, Accessories are the Sauce. Click To Tweet

ADD A POP OF COLOUR

dressed

If you stuck to a basic color palette, then you might want to add a pop of color. You can add an extra clothing item like a jacket, scarf, beanie, beret while getting dressed. Now do not overdo it. Remember you are still going to accessorize and you do not want to end up looking like Christmas puked all over you. This is also where you can layer in style in case the weather is cold or its winter.

ACCESORIZE

dressed

I personally love this part because once I’m getting dressed, I immediately know what accessories to wear to downplay or spice up the outfit. Ideally though,stick with simple and chic accessories that take your outfit to Classy. Here are a few tips on accessories

  • Use a chain with tops that bare your neck

dressed

  • Big earrings make your outfit more chic

dressed

earrings from @anusignature

  • Small earrings scream understated, classy and professional

dressed

earrings from @jewelry_ave

  • Wear a watch
  • Bangles can take an outfit from plain old to fun and sassy.

STICK TO NEUTRAL COLOURED BAG AND SHOE

So you are basically dressed, and so as not to start another debate just stick to those shoes and bag that go with everything. The ones in basic colors like black or nude or brown. It will not leave you looking too plain because you have accessorized and you also won’t look like you are overdoing it.

Having given you the secret formula, here are a few most easily put together outfit for different occasions

   WHAT TO WEAR FOR DIFFERENT OCCASIONS

For Work

Pant trousers and a shirt

Accessories: Stud Earrings, wristwatch and heels or flats

For school

-Casual

Jeans and a top with sneakers/ballet flats

Accessories: Big earrings, wristwatch plus bangles

-Formal

Shirt and a Skirt plus ballet flats

Accessories: Big earrings, wristwatch and bracelet

For a women’s function

Skirt, chiffon top and heels

Accessories: Stud earrings, wristwatch and bangles (if you want)

For a Casual Outing

Denim on denim with a camisole plus sneakers/ballet flats

Accessories: Big earrings

dressed

photo credit for the flatlays: ME @ireprubies

 For a date

A Knee length dress (sundress/bodycon) with heels or ballet flats

Accessories: Big earrings, chain, wristwatch and a bracelet

 

You will spend a lot of time getting dressed at times. That is okay, because after all “Slaying is serious business”. Has my secret formula been helpful? Like the post and drop a comment if it has.

 

QUICK QUESTION

Do you think if I finally learn make up you would want to learn with me?? And how about a 10 minute max. Make up look?? Drop a comment and let me know what you think.

 

XOXO Rubies.

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Welcome To The New School

Hey guys! Welcome, Welcome .Please take a seat, let me offer you a slice of cake and a tube of ice cream (I am kind of a sugar addict as you will find out really soon). Y’all are welcome to LazyTrendyChic and I am your humble host, hoping to become your dearly beloved ‘Rubies’…… LazyTrendyChic is here to cater to your every fashion desire, talk about our diverse heritage and fill our every craving. So please feel free, let me know what you think, leave comments, send emails and generally connect.
You can keep up with me and your ‘LazyTrendyChic’ updates on our various social media platforms below.
Join me lets have some epic fun together.


photo credit: @tobilobadearest for @folakaystudio

Yours,
Just a Lil girl playing dress up
Rubies

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Fashion Lifestyle street style

Own your Trendy

“She’s trendy, He’s trendy, we all trendy”
I used to belong to the group of thought that ‘fashion was a gift for some special set of elite people’ but that is not true. One man’s quirks set the trend for the next millennia. What is your quirk? You don’t have to do it like we all do it.It does not have to be someone else’s trend. Find your trend and own it (like say na just you ooo).
“Don’t try to fit in, if you are born to stand out”. Don’t forget to comment like and follow.


Photo credits:@tobilobadearest for @folakaystudio

Still Yours,
Lil girl playing dress up
Rubies

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