Ever been to a spa? Well except for the occasional manicure or pedicure, I really hadn’t gotten a full Spa experience before a few weeks ago. I got the opportunity to get all the kinks in my back (generated by exams} worked out and on a discount too.
Hey guys, I’m here with some photography tips and tricks for you all. Its Christmas time and I trust my people we all want to pepper them on our feed. I do know that I am not the only one who loves the fact that during the season there are so many places that get a revamp with some really pretty decorations and lights. Especially on the island. Now I’m going to give you a few tips to taking pictures. Pictures that will brighten up your feed and get the likes rolling in.
Definition of Nigerian tailor :
should be classified under a whole different class of people. I used to think they were all not that bad until i nearly lost my sugar daddy because of one tailor.
At the start of this year, one of my yearly goals was to attend more owambe’s, get out more and be more social. Unfortunately, I did not have any opportunity to attend an owambe. Suddenly in October my Aunt calls and tells my mum that her daughter -my cousin– is getting married December. Imagine how I was jumping up and down with joy that my ‘oyinbo’ cousin is coming to get wedded in Nigeria.
The search for a Tailor
By the first week in November, I got the aso-ebi and the color code for the wedding. Extremely excited, I started looking for styles to sew immediately, not considering the fact that mans was broke. So I found a style, and then started praying and fasting for money oo. While my fasting and prayers were making their way to Baba God, I decided to start my search for a good tailor. I got two of my friends to recommend two different tailors to me . I went to both of them to get an estimate of how much it would cost to sew lace chord. When the first tailor told me five thousand naira I carried my load and hustled my butt out of there fast fast, in my mind it’s not me that she will use to buy food for the rest of the month.
I got to the second tailor’s place and first she told me how she was going to line the material twice because it’s lace chord and that she would use taffeta and doll face and blah blah blah. Last last sha she told me the price was the same 5 thousand naira . at this point I had to hold my chest oooo…. Imagine me, that I was barely managing to eat well in school where will I get 5k to drop for sewing wedding cloth. But I must slay nah , because by fire by force this wedding is the one where I will find the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh (all those fine boys that will come must not pass me by biko).
What makes a person a slut?
Why society calls you a slut?
You’re a female
- because you are different and they do not understand how that is possible
- especially when you wear fashionable outfits and dare to look bangin’ in them
or when you dare to express your sexuality .( I mean its simply not done for you to expect good sex or talk about it)
- infact when you are a confident Boss Lady and are completely goal oriented
because society is full of judgemental ignorant fools, thats why.
What calling a person a slut says about you
Let’s talk about the trolls and religious fanatics
Most of those who have the time to troll other people and appoint themselves judge and jury over another are usually jobless. Doesn’t that say something more about the person that calls you a slut than you, who is being called a slut ? I have noticed that most times when people see someone who is completely confident in her sexuality , the response of weak people is to fall back to slut- shaming.
King James Version (KJV)
1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Now that that has been established, why dont we all just simply stop hiding behind things like religion, culture, morals and simply just mind our buisness.
Justifying rape because she is a Slut
In case you don’t know , tagging a female a slut does not just stop there. It has a rebound effect. If that lady gets raped it is 90% your fault. Sure there is no excuse for rape. But I have heard situations where a lady has been tagged a slut and one guy decides to taste too . He probably approaches her and she turns him down. He is furious because well she has “loose morals “ how can she say no. So he rationalizes that she wants him to force her. He then goes on to rape her.
Can you see how keeping your mouth shut and minding your business would have helped? That aside slut or not, how can a person justify rape? I mean there is simply no excuse. Whatever she wears or says or does does not make it okay to force her. I mean you can always just look away. Rape is NOT and will NEVER be the “victims” fault.
Anybody that blames a female for being raped and tags her a slut or hoe after is sick and I just hope that person never experiences rape.
If you can’t tell this is an issue that really gets to me. I mean if a lady chooses to use her body to help her make ends meet I’m sure it wasn’t her 1st choice. You who decided to judge her , how much have you contributed to her life? The truth is most times people that judge others are guilty of worse. If you cannot help her , and you cannot ask her to help you then sit your ass down and face your life. How does bringing another down help you is a question I continue to ask myself.
A world without the tag ‘SLUT’
Imagine a world where the female code was not only for rep sake on social media but was actually a code that we lived our lives by. Just think, a world filled with Queens that lifted each other up. A world where Kings let go of the irrelevant things and focused on building an empire. That’s the world i want to be in, that’s the world that would be worth living in. I refuse to believe that me talking about this would not make a difference. I have joined the band wagon for change, no matter how little an impact this makes it will still somehow help us get the change we want.
A friend told me to not bother myself about it, it’s just the way society is and it will not change in this generation, he said. No matter, i still add my little drop to the puddle of water, someday it will become an ocean.
Ladies, be confident, know yourselves, help each other, take a stand for change. Let the revolution start with you !!!!!!
The styling of oversize shirts is a trend I have totally wanted to try over time. From blogs like apairandaspare I gathered lots of styles to try and overtime I tried them out one by one. So this is a blog post on how to style oversize or even just long sleeved shirts. The fact that I can pick an oversize shirt and wear it in a different way for every day of the week if I want is definitely something to ease the mind.
Here are the styles:
1. The off shoulder styled oversize shirt
I tried this shirt style out for a full day. It totally made me feel a lot less hot on that sunny day with my shoulders bare and it also definitely added some sexy to my basic outfit.
That aside there are a few cons you should most probably put into consideration, if you want to rock this style.
- Never ever ever try this one when you are going on a ferry.During the course of my full day wearing this off shoulder oversized shirt style, I had to go on a ferry and did I hear you say ‘Wardrobe malfunction!!!!’ Because of the wind, the sleeves slipped off one shoulder and I had to keep drawing them back up and adjusting it stylishly under the life jacket. Imagine all that wahala on a shirt ooo.
- You have to be extra cautious when you board a yellow Lagos bus and sit beside a woman with a hyper kid. I happened to sit beside a lady with this cute but super hyper and playful kid. She kept pulling on my shirt sleeve but because she was cute I could not give her the stern face.I just had to deal with the constant tugging on my shirt sleeve till I got down from the bus.
Apart from these few cons, it’s a perfectly casual and stylish way to rock your oversize shirt .make sure to tuck it in well though and experiment with different ways of wearing it.
2. The sweetheart neckline styled shirt
This way of styling an over-sized shirt is sort of my favorite. I wore this out for a late evening/night outing and let me tell you it was extremely comfortable to wear and gave a really nice sort of dressy vibe to my plain jeans and sandals.
It held up pretty well all through the evening but I had to go with a sort of camisole underneath since I did not want to be showing off my bra straps.
- If you are not comfortable with a little cleavage on show you can wear a sort of sleeveless crop tank like I did here.
- you can also add a lot of sauce to it
3. The backwards styled oversize shirt
Casual, comfy, really easy to wear and a little strip of back on show never hurt anybody. If I were to judge I would say so far this is my best style, with the off shoulder coming a close second (even with all its wahala).
I wore this around the house and out to see a friend and I really did not have any issues with it.
Because I could not go out with a strip of back showing I wore a plain black camisole underneath. Viola I was ready to go!
4. Oversized shirt styled as a jacket
This is probably everyone’s favorite way of wearing an over-sized shirt. It simply shouts style, swag and a lazy kind of sauce.
5. Oversize shirt
Honestly wearing an oversize shirt just the way it is, with skinny jeans or shorts is so easy, slouchy and a really easy style hack. Just throw it on and you are good to go.
How would you style your oversize shirts? The traditional way or maybe something extra? Leave your thoughts as comments below, you know I love to hear from you. Xoxo loves.
You’re not putting your best foot foward
Dress up to feed your ego darlings. Do it for you!
Ditch your ‘Dream Man’ fixation
Break Free of your past
“Shenk the Sheges”
You just don’t give a f#ck
How much time do you spend while dressing up? Luckily for me I concocted a special formula for getting dressed that takes five minutes so I can get some extra snooze time. Most of my friends spend so much time on dressing up while I catch some extra shut eye. Don’t get me wrong I can fall into this category too, sometimes I try on every outfit before deciding on the one I wore first. But because being short on time is a staple in my life (I like sleep too much) I had to become the fastest dresser. Without make up (I cannot do makeup) it takes me a maximum of 5 minutes to get dressed, and considering this is nothing short of a miracle for some I decided to share the deets.
CHOOSE YOUR OUTFIT
The first step is to decide what outfit you are in the mood for. This step would ideally be done the day before, but because I know myself and I know my people this should be done as soon as you are up. If you are like me and you like to stretch, while stretching pull up a visual of your wardrobe and mentally assemble your outfit. If you are not the stretching type, you can mentally prepare while in the shower. This will drastically eliminate the time you waste by standing in front of your closet and staring (Yes I know you do it).
Be sure to consider where you are going to pick comfortable and suitable clothes.
- Make sure to stick to the basics. Remember you do not have enough time to pull off a complicated outfit. Basic color schemes and clothing items are best.
- Having a WELL ORDERED WARDROBE does wonders for you throughout your “dressing like flash” process.
PICK OUT AND WEAR YOUR CLOTHES
After deciding what to wear, go to your wardrobe and see what you have to work with. If you have decided on what to wear- skirt and shirt/jeans and top/denim- pick out one of each and wear. Remember to stick to basic colors as it would help reduce the time spent on looking for matching bag, shoes and accessories.
NOTE: DO NOT STRAY FROM WHAT YOU HAVE DECIDED ON.
I know you could look into your wardrobe and a lovely dress would catch your eye after deciding on Denim. If you decide to switch, you would end up trying it on and then ditching it when you remember why you picked denim. OOPS!!! Suddenly you’ve spent 3 minutes trying and discarding a dress. Stick to the goal of getting dressed in 5 minutes.
At this point you probably have only about 2-3 minutes left and it’s time to turn a basic outfit into something stylish.
ADD A POP OF COLOUR
If you stuck to a basic color palette, then you might want to add a pop of color. You can add an extra clothing item like a jacket, scarf, beanie, beret while getting dressed. Now do not overdo it. Remember you are still going to accessorize and you do not want to end up looking like Christmas puked all over you. This is also where you can layer in style in case the weather is cold or its winter.
I personally love this part because once I’m getting dressed, I immediately know what accessories to wear to downplay or spice up the outfit. Ideally though,stick with simple and chic accessories that take your outfit to Classy. Here are a few tips on accessories
- Use a chain with tops that bare your neck
- Big earrings make your outfit more chic
earrings from @anusignature
- Small earrings scream understated, classy and professional
earrings from @jewelry_ave
- Wear a watch
- Bangles can take an outfit from plain old to fun and sassy.
STICK TO NEUTRAL COLOURED BAG AND SHOE
So you are basically dressed, and so as not to start another debate just stick to those shoes and bag that go with everything. The ones in basic colors like black or nude or brown. It will not leave you looking too plain because you have accessorized and you also won’t look like you are overdoing it.
Having given you the secret formula, here are a few most easily put together outfit for different occasions
WHAT TO WEAR FOR DIFFERENT OCCASIONS
Pant trousers and a shirt
Accessories: Stud Earrings, wristwatch and heels or flats
Jeans and a top with sneakers/ballet flats
Accessories: Big earrings, wristwatch plus bangles
Shirt and a Skirt plus ballet flats
Accessories: Big earrings, wristwatch and bracelet
For a women’s function
Skirt, chiffon top and heels
Accessories: Stud earrings, wristwatch and bangles (if you want)
For a Casual Outing
Denim on denim with a camisole plus sneakers/ballet flats
Accessories: Big earrings
photo credit for the flatlays: ME @ireprubies
For a date
A Knee length dress (sundress/bodycon) with heels or ballet flats
Accessories: Big earrings, chain, wristwatch and a bracelet
You will spend a lot of time getting dressed at times. That is okay, because after all “Slaying is serious business”. Has my secret formula been helpful? Like the post and drop a comment if it has.
Do you think if I finally learn make up you would want to learn with me?? And how about a 10 minute max. Make up look?? Drop a comment and let me know what you think.
Currently listening to May D – Soundtrack*
It’s a brand new day and I just want exams to be over and the summer holidays be here already. Do like this🙋 #hands up if you need a long vacation – to Cuba or the islands (if you have big dreams like me). Honestly, I need a camera, overnight summer body and lots of money to spend. Lol, what a dream.
During the Easter holidays, I stayed with my aunt and her kids (my cousins) for a few days. I tend to be a little reserved when meeting new people ( especially family) so I went there with the mindset that I might not totally vibe with them. Luckily for me, I was wrong and not only did I vibe with them, we also became so close in a short while. Even with all my cousins’ wahala, we still had a blast. When I was packing for the visit, I packed really casually thinking that there would be no outing, so that left me having to wear home clothes out with my cousins (oops!). P.S You never want to have to go out with home clothes.
Fortunately, my cousins love me for me and not my fashion sense #laugh .That is why, with great consultations with the ‘cousins’ I decided to make a post on how to be the trendiest Cousin ever. *works like a charm every time*
Well, you definitely cannot be the trendiest cousin if you are not trendy. Your fashion sense has to be topnotch in person and on Instagram.The cousins will judge you based on how you look and your instagram feed. To totally crush this part, you have to have your finger on the pulse of all things fashion, from latest trends, to styling clothes, to lots trending clothes plus the awesome instagram feed. Simply put, be FASHION but don’t overdo it. You can check out my post on dressing up in 5 minutes and yet come out looking stylish HERE.
Your cousins have to be able to relate with you or else all your dressing up will be in vain. Without you having a very easy, laidback and friendly relationship with your cousins, you will never be tagged the favorite. Your cousins have to be comfortable with you, chill with you, discuss latest trends, gossip, and their other interests and even gist you about their lives. This is the part that guarantees you the tag “favorite cousin”. This plus good fashion choices and you’re good to go.
BUY YOUR COUSINS STUFF (Lots of stuff)
Singing *money makes the world go round, money makes the world go round*
To quote my darling cousin (note that he is just 15, like whaaaattttt?!), ‘if you don’t buy us stuff then what exactly are you our favorite for?’ .My friends also fully support the motion by saying ‘an uncle/aunt that does not give you things, is that one and aunt/uncle?’. The bottom line is get them things, you do not need to go above board but the occasional top or jeans or shades or even money and credit will firmly secure your place in their minds.
I personally have a favorite uncle and while He is not my favorite because of money it doesn’t hurt either that he cares to send me things once in a while. I definitely did not even touch this part with my cousins though, I remember them telling me to get a ‘rich boyfriend’ so I would be able to take them out. Needless to say , I chased them round the house once they said that but we ended up laughing about it anyway.
Moral of the story: If you no get money hide your face.
BE YOURSELF, BE REAL
This part is easily the most important, because it really doesn’t matter if you are loaded to the heavens, dress hotter than the Kardashians and are as relatable as SpongeBob to kids, if you are not yourself it will show. Your personality is why people or cousins in this instance should like you. If you act fake, your cousins will fake an attitude to you too and there is no way you would be their favorite that way.
You really should not keep up an act (I’m sure that would be exhausting anyway). Make sure you are real and everything else will fall into place.
With all these tips, you’ll soon have the title of “favorite most fashionable cousin/sibling/family member”. I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it for you.
Till next time,
A Diary is a book full of your hopes, dreams, secrets and life lessons.
Keeping a Diary was the second thing I was dedicated to in high school. My Diary was my bestie (You can see why I did not have a real bestie HERE) and my confidante, it held basically everything about my life and the lessons I learned in it. After I had people steal and read my first diary ever, I made sure the next diary had a lock.
For me junior school is sort of a blur, it was all about getting good grades and following the rules. By the time I got to SS2 however, I realized that I barely remembered anything about junior school. Determined to change that I made sure to change up my habits and have fun. A few weeks ago though, I came across my diaries and I sat down and went through them again. It took a while but reading the diaries really opened my eyes and put a lot of things in perspective. Here are a few life lessons I want to share with you that I learned from reading my diaries again.
Live Life to the fullest so you do not have regrets.
One thing I do regret about secondary school is the fact that I did not open up fast. While reading my diary I discovered that going to the hostel in Jss3 saw a particular incident that caused a change in my behavior. After deciding to actually live , I then began to see life in color, have fun, make memories – sad, happy, fun and somber. Truthfully this life lesson may seem like one that is a given. Unfortunately, you would be surprised at how many people are going through life with grey colored glasses on. From the moment I decided to actually live, I began to make memoirs. Looking back now, the memories I have are mainly of those final days in school.
Do not be too hasty to call it love
Limerence – Infatuated love
Throughout high school, I did not date anyone not because I did not want to but because I was convinced that I had met the love of my life. Reading this in my diary was both embarrassing, funny and sad at once. While reading I began to try to pinpoint one reason why I decided I was in love with him and I still cannot find one. I was totally infatuated with him (and the laugh lines around his eyes). I was so sure he was the one that I decided to wait around till he was ready to date me. Unfortunately for me, after wasting a lot of time I finally pulled up the courage to talk to him only to get a good dose of reality and heartbreak.
Reading through this I once again felt a sort of replica of the pain I was going through. Seeing how much I cried after dedicating so much time and my fragile emotions into him was heartbreaking and freeing at the same time. After suffering heartbreak, I turned my thoughts to revenge (how to make him pay) and even that eventually fizzled out. Now I realize that the life lesson I should have held on to from that is the fact that you cannot make anyone love you.
It was really not love, but at the time I would have bet a lot on the fact that we would end up married with kids and a great life. I had big dreams, and now I know those dreams will still be reality but this time with the right person.
You have to embrace Change (that is how you grow)
Embracing change is not so easy. Going into secondary school I was a quiet, jaded girl who had been through lots of family issues and I had walls of reinforced steel around myself. Leaving high school, I had drastically changed into a more jovial, still cautious but happier girl.
The day in Jss3 when my life changed started as any other with me minding my business, keeping to myself. I had joined the hostel two weeks prior but I still kept sitting where I used to in class instead of with the ‘boarders’ (what students in the hostel were called). On this day one of my hostel mates – Nike – got angry at the fact that I refused to associate with them. She cruelly embarrassed me in front of the other boarders. She called me all sorts of names including cry baby and little girl and basically told me I was afraid of everything. Her words made me run to the top floor and hide there, crying all day.
One of my sort of friends at the time found me there and comforted me. During this I realized that even though she was cruel and mean in the way she said the words to me, she was actually right. I had been so concerned with protecting myself that I did too good a job in cutting myself off from people.
That was the turning point. From then, I began to open myself up one step at a time till it became second nature to me to be like that. No change is easy, but it almost always leads to a better version of you.
No matter how bad it is, it will always get better.
Even in secondary school, I went through some ups and downs that seemed almost insurmountable. After reading my diary, I said a quick thank you to God for how far I have come now. No matter how bad it gets, it can always get better is the life lesson I took away from this.
You will get finer and dress better
You definitely will #winks. I see my throwback pictures and Lord! Lord! I thank you for where I am now. That is not to say I was not cute, because I was. But then again, they are called throwback pictures for a reason.
Here is the only throwback picture I can release with peace of mind #laughs.
There are a lot more lessons I have learnt from reading my diary again and I would love to share more with you.So if you would love to read more of this comment YES down below.
Have you ever had a diary or kept a journal?
Friendships and friends can be the safest part of reality for a person and yet can also be the place that brings one the most pain and heart break.
“Best friend: A person who you choose to put your heart, soul and secrets in trust with.
The one person who even though may not be blood related to you
can be your pillar when all else fails and has the power to rip your heart out easily”
Back in primary school, I had a bestie that I did everything with – eat, play, we even had the primary school crush on brothers because anything else was just unacceptable. Everything was as fine as fine can be and my little innocent heart thrived on the friendship (being an only child I was alone a lot), until one day I got to school and found that everyone in my class were avoiding me and staring a little more than usual. Luckily for me (as a fine chubby head girl) I never pulled the ‘Queen Bee’ stunt on my mates so it was not long till someone came up to me and told me that my so-called bestie announced to the whole class that I was a witch. Did I hear you say what?!!! Now imagine my shock.
Yhup the wonderful beastie – what I started calling her after, understood the fact that at that time even as young as we all were we knew that being a witch was a bad thing and that the rumor would isolate me from the class and probably the whole school. That was my first taste of betrayal and I knew I would not give her the pleasure of crying in her presence, so I proceeded to go about my day as normal. But as soon as I left school I burst into tears and cried all the way home.
My mum came to school the next day and made her take back her words but it had already made an impression on my young heart, and I knew then that I really did not want to feel like that ever again. Needless to say I did have close friends but never a best friend ever again. Friendships in reality are a bed of roses but then again even roses have thorns. The good friends have your back through thick and thin, good and bad and the bad ones unfortunately leave a scar.
You know the kind of friends that you meet and you just click and suddenly they are the first person you think of when something happens? Yes, the friends that get you so much but then someway, somehow as fast as you clicked you begin to drift apart and no matter how much or how hard you hold on it just won’t be the same again. I have had so many friends like that and honestly I am grateful for all of them. Some friends , as perfect as they might be are just for a time .As much as it might hurt not to talk to them again the memories of how beautiful it was while we were together would always be in our hearts.
Even as there are bad friends that leave a mark, there are also the good ones. I have friends of the opposite sex and same sex who when I was having issues were my strength. There was this particular time when I misplaced my wallet. I just came back to school from home with five thousand naira after serious hustling.
Somehow I misplaced my wallet but did not notice till hours later. I was confused, frustrated, crying and angry. Out of anger, I left my hostel and just kept walking. I then picked a bike to one of my friend’s apartment (which he paid for). Seeing my face and appearance (I looked crazy) he asked what was wrong and I tearfully told him the story. I remember him hugging me and making jest of my look.He then took me to the ATM gave me five thousand naira and took me out to eat.
It might seem like nothing but instances like this are what make you know how true your friend is. Emotionally, Physically, Financially, Academically friends are supposed to lift each other up. What kind of friend are you? What kind of friend do you have?
Outfit Of The Day
I am wearing leggings and a crop top and my new favourite sneakers because the best way to live is to love yourself first and be your own best friend first before you can then be another person’s. Complete yourself so that anybody else will add to you just as you will add to them.
I talked about loving yourself and your body on my new post on “My thoughts:on the Thick trend” go and check it out.
On some level I do know I am sort of scared of being labelled “the witch” again but what is life without risk? So I will complete myself and open my heart to friends who will add to me as I will add to them.
*Looks up from writing to see the lecturer still talking. Goes back to writing*
Tell me…. Who is your best friend?