Fuck y’all

You know it says “share your story here” on the blank page . How ironic.

Today I know it can’t get worse … I mean I am way past rock bottom where else is there to go. I used to think I was broken , oh now I know what it feels to be broken.

Think I have a perfect life ?! Can you hear my hysterical laughter from here

Do you know how many times I’ve been envious of your oh so happy families

How many different ways I have tried to numb the pain , the ache, the emptiness but it never leaves it’s just there festering salted by you.and you dare sit on your thrones feeling all high and mighty and judge me!!! You dare question my life?!! Deem me unworthy by your standards well fuck you.

You know everybody fucks up and I do pray you never learn that lesson the way I have …. I pray you never hurt those you love the way I have most of all I pray they never hurt you the way they hurt me .


Physical pain I can deal with but how do you run from a pain on the inside, the one that tears you apart .

I don’t give a fuck , what a joke what a fucking bloody lie!

How they whisper……

How they claim righteousness while holding the keys to their room of skeletons .

Spare me the fake ness

And yet you sit and pour your hearts out to me , laughing at the poor fool who comforts you.

Oh how stupid

How dumb

Never again I say

Never again

Real pain takes the place of agony

Blood washes away the hurt

“From the flames

The Phoenix is reborn ”

You want me to cry in public?! These are my tears staining the screen of the phone

Want me to scream? I hope you can hear the pain as it rips out of me

What more do you want? Revel in my pain so you can deem me lowly enough to be one of you.

I loved him but I was never enough. Was it a game was it real we will never know because they named me by their rules, their dictates, their laws.

one last thing , remember to congratulate yourselves , throw a party get drunk and high, dance and laugh because finally you have killed the light in my heart.

Rubies Diary

My Stranger

Luckily for me he told me earlier that we were going out. It’s the first weekend in months that I’d had anywhere to go. I was happy not really because…